Wednesday, November 21, 2018

The gatekeeper

Day and night beside the gate
my eyes and ears so wide awake
when they enter, my heart plays dead
the gatekeeper, ready to protect himself

So how can you not be deterred ?
when my body's tense and so alert..
using judgement to protect,
all those inner islands I neglect

How many duties do I have ?
Is being wide awake really one of it ?
When the price I continuously pay
is keeping them 200 miles away..

But I have hope, I will adjust
to the flow of life, the flow of love,
have been a gatekeeper for so long,
a programming of heart gone wrong..

So it's time to correct,
this lack of love, lack of self-respect
See me smiling at my faults,
I'm ready to break this ancient wall






Charles Wallace

Small but big thoughts,
good thoughts,
sure where's heading
Love wont hurt
thats what he knows
thats what he shows

Drag me with you
let me visit islands,
islands full of mystery,
full of mystic dreams

And dont stop smiling
while you jump,
from world to world
from love to hurt

I trust your path,
I trust your map,
place hope into those hands,
let grace replace my plans

Move me to tears,
while you gently
plant yourself,
beneath my fears

And as we watch you with delight
our hearts open up,
with smiles so bright
our souls give birth,
to a new wonderful world



Saturday, November 3, 2018

As if

As if you were that big
As if I was that weak
As if..

As if they were that strict
As if I was that rigid
As if..

As if it was so hopeless
As if they would judge this
As if...

As if it was existential
As if their thoughts are detrimental
As if..

I let the strings fly
and wave those repetitions good bye
my patterns loose their heaviness
...I remain human in all of this


Sunday, October 28, 2018

The patient one

My soul was pierced
I let me slip
into the unknown

My pain so deep
I held on to it
so familiar, I should've known

But I didn't...

And as I pass you along
I wait for me
to become the patient one

Through this cold and lonely season
I welcome all the detours
cause they show up for a reason

While becoming the patient one
I anticipate
the rising of my sun

...I guess it's good that you're gone




Wednesday, October 24, 2018

I've done it all good

It's 2 am and I can't sleep
this little voice keeps telling me
"It's over now and you've done it good"

Like a waterfall my story rushed in
words and memories melting on this hot skin
and it's over now cause I've done it good

No need to hide the warrior in me
No need to second-guess where I need to be
"I've done it all good"
this voice keeps telling me

I can go out and play now
she keeps whispering in my ear
"You can go out and play"
"there's no need for fear"

Cause I've done it all good

Monday, August 20, 2018

I choose so

I stay positive..
I choose so
cause I know that
even if my mind attacks
all my truths stay intact,
my spirit won't turn back

And even if my pain slides in
I remember this strength within
This gift of authenticity,
these moments of pure clarity

God lives in me..

Friday, August 17, 2018

Trust

That feeling in my gut
That strong and steady thought
in midst of all the other thoughts

That is trust..

That calming voice
in the other
those benovelent words
spoken by my brother

That is trust..

These tears released
on her pillow
That gentle touch
weakening my sorrow

That is trust..

In this parade of invalidation
I get to have a choice
I get to have a voice
Have the right to remember
and thereby surrender
to the value I hold within

..in that I trust





Thursday, August 16, 2018

For the sake of my truth

I trust
that I will be alright
that I am good
no matter what my pain
paints in my soul

I have so many colours
that I can use
to enhance
and complete the portrait
in order to serve my truth

...for the sake of my truth

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Solitude

Solitude

I exist even in solitude
especially in solitude
If I resist,
to label and judge what I'm feeling
acceptance can cave in

I carry a world
I carry that world
and my world in me
what a responsibility
to let both of them be
and acknowledge their existence
without blaming or judging
what they do
in me
and in you

When I resist
there is bliss
in being still
lies the skill

..to set my heart free

Tuesday, June 12, 2018

Heavy but steady plane

Mindful as much as I can
while this plane flies me back
back to my ancestors
back to our perpetrators

And in the eyes of the stranger
the stranger seated next to me
I begin to look kinder
kinder than he thought compatriots could be

And as he leads me
from wars to forced marriages
allows me to accompany him
through painful memories
feelings of unease and warmth
begin to arise

And then I get sad
and mourn the distance between us
Though connected through history
we're divided by pain
yet sharing glimpses of humanity
on this heavy but steady plane..

Healing is on the way..





Monday, January 1, 2018

Creativity loading

I'm with myself
all by myself
and the noise ended

I'm all alone
soft lights turned on
creativity loading

Hearing the clock tick
makes me feel in synch
with my own heartbeat

Autumn songs keep playing
in solitude I keep praying
..may love lead my way..